Navigating the Complex Path of Adult Anorexia: A Candid Conversation with Diane Corso
In this episode of Health Gig, join us as we delve into a raw and candid conversation with Diane Corso, who has battled adult anorexia for over 35 years. Diane shares her unique journey of living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and how it intertwined with her relationship with food and exercise. With candor and honesty, Diane sheds light on the often overlooked demographic of midlife individuals dealing with eating disorders, discussing the challenges, stigma, and the internal struggles she faces daily.
Her personal story offers valuable insights into the chronic nature of adult anorexia, the constant presence of the disorder's voice, and the small but meaningful steps she's taking toward recovery. Diane's courage in sharing her experience aims to raise awareness about the mental health aspect of eating disorders and inspire a deeper understanding of the complexities involved in seeking help and making progress.
More on diane corso
Website: https://www.diane-corso.com/
Quotes:
“I kind of contributed to this extremely loud noise in my head…and you don't disobey it and you don't second guess it because that's what my life was like. I never thought any different, and I always thought that that's the way it had to be for me.” - Diane Corso
“There's so many different parts to eating disorders that people have, but that would definitely be mine: overexercising and not eating, which is not a good combo.” - Diane Corso
When you're in an eating disorder world, if it were that easy to eat, we would. I think that people who try to share their own stories of what it's like, what their battle was, or what they have as far as eating, that's not going to help either. People just don't hear you. - Diane Corso
Show Notes:
Diane Corso: I battled with obsessive compulsive disorder for many, many years, not really knowing what that was, but after many years of therapy, I realized that this all stems from that, from an early childhood of having some of those tendencies, and it just spiraled into adult eating disordered habits and then spiraled into eating disorder, obsessive compulsive exercise routines.
Diane Corso: I never was able to find a demographic in my age group that was dealing with this or wanted to admit it. And I would read countless books about the topic, and they were all younger people who were dealing with eating disorders. And I was so happy to hear that their story was at the end in recovery.
Diane Corso: obsessive compulsive disorder is not just tapping into one specific thing. It can have many different avenues. And when I say I started to have tendencies as a young kid, it was never anything identifiable. I would just do things like putting my outfits together the night before and making sure all of my toys were aligned and shutting the lights off a certain amount of times and never really thinking twice about it.
Diane Corso: I'm kind of an all or nothing person, so it would be exercising into Overexercising and then that overexercising turned into rituals of exercising to where at the end of my 20s I was running 25 miles a day, literally 25 miles a day, and never going underneath that.
Diane Corso: I kind of contributed to this just extremely loud noise in my head, a noise that just doesn't stop. And you don't disobey it and you don't second guess it because that's what my life was like. I never thought any different. And I always thought that that's the way it had to be for me. So the noise just was always overpowering the healthy voice in me. And before I know it, I wake up and I'm 52 years old with the noise.
Diane Corso: We live in a real weight obsessed culture. And back when I was in my late 20s, it was more it was on social media, thank God, but it was magazines and television, and the environment was able to hone in on me and I was very vulnerable for that. And I think that that's why I took the avenue of food and exercise to use the obsessive compulsive in that direction.
Diane Corso: I would categorize myself as anorexic and then overexercise. There's so many different parts to eating disorders that people have, but that would definitely be mine. Overexercising and not eating, which is not a good combo.
Diane Corso: I just don't think this is a very talked about demographic for women in our 40s, 50s and 60s who have a whole different life of stressors that an eating disorder likes. And I think that we have a lot of things going on in our lives and the thing that we feel like we can control, which is a huge part of an eating disorder, is having control or that false sense of safety and comfort is our food and our exercise.
Diane Corso: the body positivity is beautiful and wonderful. I just don't feel like we are going far enough as far as really helping those who need help. You look at social media and it's all over the place. Thinness is in. Yet we can talk about, you know, eating disorders, but that's not them.
Diane Corso: My biggest problems when I was in my real deepest, darkest moments of it was breaking bones. Like I said, the 25 miles a day, you know, your body's not going to want to have that. And I had a lot of fractures and broken bones that when I tell you that if I had a fracture, I would walk and run on it until I could not anymore.
Diane Corso: I have a severe anemia where I had to have several blood transfusions throughout the course of my early 30s. Another problem that I feel like we really need to work on is when we go to our doctors. For instance, if I go to a doctor and I have a fractured tibia and they ask me about my health and my exercise and I'm not going to tell them what I do, they're not going to ask
Diane Corso: I'm so grateful for fertility doctors and medicine because it got to where I am today. It is a two edged sword. It kind of stinks that they didn't help me out earlier and helped me get healthier. But would I have listened I don't know, probably not.
Diane Corso: One of the most shameful parts of my disorder in trying to get pregnant was the secrecy that I had. I had a desperate want as an early child to be a mother. And that's really what I wanted to do with my life. Yet when it came time to do it and I would get pregnant, that noise I talked about earlier was battling what I should have done to become pregnant and stay pregnant. I struggled with that during three miscarriages and they were all around the same time of eight weeks or so.
Diane Corso: My family did sit me down in an intervention style after I had my triplets because it didn't stop after my kids were born, it got worse. That didn't go over well because my eating disorder noise was very loud. You can't blame the outside world for it, but there are different ways that people can approach someone with an eating disorder that might help them to respond better.
Diane Corso: I've never been to treatment or inpatient, and as much as my therapist encouraged me, I never did that because I had already had my children and I did not want to leave my kids. Now, I think that's made my recovery a lot longer than maybe it could have been.
Diane Corso: Now, looking back, I'm so grateful that I can sit here and tell you that the small changes I make are really big for me. And while I'm not in recovery and there's no bow tied end of the present here to tell you that I'm in recovery, I'm okay with that. I think that I'm making positive changes. And to be able to talk to you about this or just say some of the things that I've done in my past, it's really freeing. I'm not giving up on myself, and I really want to make sure that other people can understand.
Diane Corso: I'm going to be able to go home and tell my boys because they know I'm doing this, that look what I did today and look what I talked about. And does that make it fully recovered? No, But I feel really good and proud of myself for doing it.
Diane Corso: It was super scary to push publish when I did it, you know, like when it went out and just was like out into the universe. I was really apprehensive about it for so long. And then once I did and I got people emailing and saying, I'm in the same boat, I've lived through this. I'm currently certain amount of years old and I've lived with the disordered eating pattern for well over 20 years. Thank you for doing this. Thank you for bringing attention to this demographic and for that I'm so grateful. I wrote it for myself. I wrote it for my children and my family. But if I could help one person who is in my predicament, who I couldn't find when I was reading all the books about eating disorders and anorexia and obsessive compulsive, my job is done.
Diane Corso: I would like to be able to tap into those feelings of false sense of security and comfort that an eating disorder brings. It definitely woos you and manipulates you into thinking this is what you need to feel better. The thoughts that go on in my head are really loud. Like throughout this interview or throughout my day, the thoughts are still there.
Diane Corso: I want people to know that it's not a choice to do what I do or start what I started. We're not here to do this because we want attention from anybody. We're in a crisis. We're in a real tough spot. And if people could just recognize that, maybe we could progress a little bit more and try and help each other. So that's why I wrote the book. That's why I talk about it freely with my children. And that's why I hope that with all of this, each and every day, like this is a moment that I'm going to remember. Like I said earlier, that's one moment further into me getting better. So I can't thank you enough for allowing me to talk about it with you.
FOLLOW HEALTH GIG:
Learn more about BB&R and Achieving Optimal Health Conference by visiting BBRconsulting.us