Healing Conversations: Ray Paul's Journey in Suicide Prevention
In this compelling episode, hosts Doro and Tricia welcome special guest Ray Paul as he shares his profound journey in the realm of suicide prevention. Ray, who tragically lost his son to suicide, has emerged as a beacon of hope and advocacy in the field. As the Chair of the National Board of Directors at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), he eloquently narrates his path from grief to activism, emphasizing the significance of fostering hope and understanding around this critical issue.
This episode also features insights from Kate Cammell, Director of PR at AFSP. Together, they shed light on the organization's vital work in destigmatizing mental health, facilitating life-saving conversations, and providing invaluable support for those impacted by suicide. This episode serves as a reminder that even in the face of adversity, individuals can ignite positive change and make a profound impact on the lives of many.
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Website: https://afsp.org/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AFSPnational
Twitter: https://twitter.com/afspnational
Instagram: https://instagram.com/afspnational
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/afspnational
Quotes:
It’s very important to talk to someone who has lost someone to suicide. I would advise everyone to say, ‘I'm here. I want to understand what you’re going through.’ - Ray Paul
When I was writing the eulogy talking about how Buck died, I thought, ‘There's no way that we can talk about the way Buck lived if we don't talk about the way he died.’ - Ray Paul
With suicide, there are identifiable risk factors that you can consider. Those risk factors include health factors, historical factors, and environmental factors. - Ray Paul
Show Notes:
RAY PAUL: The first couple of years, we were just in a place of just a zone of not almost being able to function. I retired almost immediately from my career job that had me traveling all over the world, but I recognized right away for the first time, I always loved everywhere I went, never mind a travel, but all of a sudden I just said, I can't get on the plane. I need to be with Tyler and Margaret. We became just a tight little cluster that clung to each other, and we again took it a day at a time. We were overwhelmed with support from family and friends. That meant so much to us, and I think that's a lesson for everyone to embrace that support from family and friends and face. It sounds maybe cliche to say the sayings, but even now, ten, 11 years later, that it still matters a great deal to us when people support us and they do at the anniversary dates of Buck's death, that the birthdays they recognize and remember, it's very important, we think, to always talk to someone who has lost someone and suicide. Grief is very different than normal grief. All grief is bad and no grief is easy and all grief is different. But suicide, grief is very complex. A family or loved ones are left with so many uncertain questions, but going up to someone who has lost someone to suicide, don't go up to someone and say, I know what you're feeling. Because unless you've experienced loss of suicide, you don't know what I'm feeling.
RAY PAUL: We had a family that lost a son to suicide, and when I saw the dad, I knew I couldn't even say, I know what you're going through, because I know that he's going through it differently than I am or did. But what I can say, and I would advise everyone to say is, I am here for you. I want to understand what you're going through. I'm always here to listen to you, and I'm here to help you navigate your grief journey. Supporting your friend or family loved ones in that way is so important. And we've also learned that it is never, ever too late to tell someone that you're sorry about their loss. I don't know about you all, but if a certain amount of time may pass when a friend of yours has lost someone, you almost become embarrassed. If a year or 2 or 3 years has passed and you thought I never wrote that note. Um. Oh, I see the person coming up the sidewalk and I never said anything to them. Yes. You know, I just. Oh, I feel so bad. The right thing is knowing that it's never too late. Tyler and I still, to this day, will run across an old schoolmate or someone from our past who either maybe didn't know that we lost a son, or they did and then said anything. Then, you know, they feel guilty and they apologize. But it's not like that at all. The support that you get each and every day is meaningful. It's never too late.
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